A ‘demoted’ top protection agent (Reynolds) is manipulated by his ex-girlfriend into guarding the life of his mortal enemy (Jackson), the world’s most notorious hit man. The two men are thrown together for a time-sensitive, explosively dangerous journey from London to The Hague. Chasing them with orders to kill is a relentless army of assassins put on their trail by a European dictator (Oldman) who is on trial for “crimes against humanity.” Will they make the court’s imposed five PM deadline for Jackson to testify, or will the dictator walk free? Will they thrash the assassins? Will they even survive each other? You’ll have to watch, laugh, and see.
Swift shot: I didn’t think they could make a 90 minute shoot-out film, but pretty much that is what you get with Free Fire. Things escalate quickly and an abandoned factory in the ’70s becomes the perfect setting for a gun deal with the Irish Republican Army (IRA) gone magnificently awry. And, for some weird reason, John Denver music is prevalent.
In the end, we all win, as this group of jackasses end up doing the work of ridding the world of a few brainless buffoons with automatic weapons. I am sure this was a film about the dangers of guns or some shit, but as a Marine veteran, all I kept thinking was, what a bunch of fuck-ups. They’d be dead in less than two minutes if my friends had shown up, especially in the ’70s. My major take away from Free Fire is that I should get in some range time, just in case there are some jokers like this out in my neighborhood someday.
Swift shot: What the hell was that? I mean, really, what in the actual Seven Hells did I just watch there? A crazy sci-fi comedy action flick that has good old fashioned T n A, plenty of violence, decent special effects for its budget, there were puppets, there was singing, there was David Ogden Stiers and Walter Koenig, the original Chekov, for those that don’t know. And, truth be told, I haven’t been this challenged writing a review since Hit Team! All I can say for sure is Neil Stryker and The Tyrant of Time is original, and it has an uncanny Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog timbre to it, with a bit of Buckaroo Banzai absurdity peppered in.
If you are seeking something completely off-the-wall and unpredictable, Neil Stryker and The Tyrant of Time is a safe bet. I guarantee it is like nothing else you have ever seen before, and there are puppets.
Movie Magic! Written/Directed by: Matt Tory Cast: Matt Tory, Jordan Hopewell, Zack Slort, Jonathon Holmes, Anne Crockett Swift shot: Ever thought about making a movie? I imagine if you are reading this review, you probably have. But, it’s not as easy as you might think, and director Matt Tory takes on a bizarre adventure as he portrays […]
Directed by: Josh Gordon, Will Speck Written by: Justin Malen, Laura Solon, Dan Mazer Cast: Jason Bateman, T.J. Miller, Olivia Munn, Jennifer Aniston, Kate McKinnon Swift shot: You haven’t been to an office Christmas party like this before . . . no one has and lived to talk about it! With a team of writers longer than my […]