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The Snowman

The Snowman

As a three year resident of Norway, I had high hopes for this film, and I have been hearing from my Norwegian friends how good the Jo Nesbo Harry Hole series is . . . to read. I was expecting something like Silence of the Lambs meets The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, what I got was just a convoluted mess of ideas that should have been handled much better! The word that will forever haunt Director Alfredson in regards to The Snowman is “potential.” This story had potential, the characters had potential, the editing . . . well, the editing had no potential, it was an utter failure. Right up there with the piss-poor editing of Seven Pounds, in fact.

I recognize that making a film is challenging, and I hate to just crap all over anyone’s work, but there was just almost nothing redeeming about The Snowman. This director has two strikes and one home run, for me: his breakout masterpiece, the original Let the Right One In, which still kinda freaks me out and his miss being the boring as hell Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. 

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Saving Christmas

“Santa has the exact same letters as Satan!”– Yes, someone actually says that. Directed by: Darren Doane Written by: This fucking thing had writers??? Starring: Kirk Cameron, Darren Doane, Bridgette Cameron The H-Bomb: Kirk (Kirk Cameron) is attending a Christmas party at his sister’s house, when he notices that his brother-in-law, Christian (Darren Doane), seems […]

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Fantastic Four

A Fantastic Bore Directed by: Josh Trank Written by: Jeremy Slater, Simon Kinberg, Josh Trank (screenplay) Stan Lee, Jack Kirby (comic) Starring: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Reg E. Cathey, Toby Kebbell The H-Bomb: For pretty much his entire childhood, Reed Richards (Miles Teller) has been working on a teleportation device, […]

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The Ridiculous 6

Ridiculously Bad Directed by: Frank Coraci “Written” by: Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Luke Wilson, Taylor Lautner, Terry Crews, Jorge Garcia, Nick Nolte The H-Bomb: Having been an avid moviegoer for the bulk of my 34 years on this planet, I can say, with confidence, that the most painful kind of […]

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Knock Knock

Who’s There? Eli Roth, trolling the movie going public. Directed by: Eli Roth Written by: Eli Roth, Nicolas Lopez, Guillermo Amoedo (Screenplay), Anthony Moverman, Michael Ronald Ross (Story) Starring: Keanu Reeves, Lorenza Izzo, Ana de Armas The H-Bomb: Evan Webber (Keanu Reeves) is a devoted husband and father who has the house to himself for […]

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