Hell hath no fury like Nicolas Cage…
The H-Bomb: A mysterious, gun toting stranger named Milton (Nicolas Cage), is on the trail of an infant that’s been abducted by a shady religious cult, the leader of which, Jonah King (Billy Burke), has wronged someone near and dear to Milton in the past. Along the way, he meets Piper (Amber Heard) a feisty, takes-no-shit-from-no one waitress who joins him on his quest. But, unfortunately for Milton, he’s got somebody tailing him, too. A man in a dark suit who calls himself The Accountant (William Fichtner), a cool, calm, collected cat looking to gum up the works and cut short Milton’s shot at retribution. All this paves the way for a pumped up, tuned up, and totally fucked up shotgun blast of pure B-Movie awesomeness!
Holy titty-cocks, I was not expecting this! From the very first scene, this no-holds-barred drive-in send up grabbed me by the sack and kept a big, fat smile on my face for an hour and forty minutes of sheer chaos. “Drive Angry 3D” is the kind of flick where limbs being severed and sent flying is a common sight, where a naked chick gets knocked the fuck out by another chick on a front lawn, where vintage cars are being used, abused, and blown up left and right, and where Nic Cage can blow away a whole room full of attacking baddies without even having to pull his thing out of the cocktail waitress he was banging. It’s that kind of flick, folks. A flick with blood, boobs, twisted metal, and attitude to spare.
Normally this kind of movie would be considered a “guilty pleasure,” with its over-the-top insane characters, and its ridiculous storyline, but… I don’t feel the least bit guilty about taking pleasure from this movie, and neither should anyone else. It’s got no inhibitions, no pretensions, it’s just a wickedly funny as fuck all thrill ride, and spank me like a whore, I loved it! In fact, I’ll come right out and say it, this is what Tarantino’s half of “Grindhouse” should have been like.
Now, all that out of the way, I should re-iterate that the story gets pretty silly… but in a good way. I was deliberately light on the details in my plot set-up, because seeing how it unfolds is half the fun (I went in to the pre-screening cold, knowing nothing about the actual story). Let’s just say things take a supernatural route, which threw me a little because I wasn’t expecting it, but I re-adjusted and was able to groove to it for the most part (my sub-heading is a big clue as to the movie‘s supernatural element).
A major asset “Drive Angry” has that makes it a success, aside from its crazy-ass tone, is the cast. Everybody here knows exactly what kind of movie they’re in, and exactly how to play it. There isn’t anyone in the picture who doesn’t get at least a few laughs out of the audience. Cage, displaying his latest in a long line of bad haircuts, is perfect as our bad-ass antihero, Milton. The character is a mean motherfucker on the page, but Cage brings that certain oddball-ness that only he can bring, and I honestly can’t imagine any other major actor in the role.
As the female sidekick, Piper, Heard makes for the ballsiest babe I’ve seen in a movie in a long, long time. Just how she reacts when she catches her deadbeat boyfriend screwing another woman tells us immediately what this lady is all about. She does have a softer side, we find out, and she does give the film its few genuinely human moments. Fichtner and Burke, and Milton’s chaser and chasee, respectively, almost completely steal the movie. Burke is cartoonishly creepy as the Evangelical-like Satanist cult leader, and Fichtner brings on the dry, sardonic humor as an “FBI Agent” who doesn’t quite seem to be of this world, and they both have a devilishly good time with their roles.
David Morse adds some gravitas as an old buddy of Milton’s. He’s the only character in the movie who’s played completely straight, that I can recall, and despite that, he doesn’t feel out of place in this freak show. I just wish he had more to do. And being the devout “Night of the Creeps” fan that I am, there’s no way I can’t mention the appearance of none of than Tom motherfuckin’ Atkins, bitches! Like in “Creeps”, he’s playing another hardnosed cop, and damn if he doesn’t look almost exactly the same as he did 25 years ago. Like with Morse, I wish there was more of him, but it was still great to see him doing his thing.
Co-Writer/Director Patrick Lussier gives the film a grungy, gritty look and actually manages to pull off some sweet 3D shots. They were nothing astounding, but they added to the sadistic fun. He also gets credit for keeping the dark humorous feel and never letting the film take itself too seriously. If there’s anything I would mark him down for, it would be for letting the pace drag just a little in certain spots. A little trimming in the mid-section of the movie could’ve helped. And while I’m bitching, I’ll point out that the CGI was a bit too fake looking in places. No biggie, really, but obvious CG always bugs the shit out of me when I see it.
But those minor annoyances aside, “Drive Angry 3D” is that kind of trigger happy, body stacking, pedal-to-the-metal 70’s grindhouse style flick that we’re seeing more and more of these days, but that we rarely see done this well. The cast had a blast making it, I had a blast watching it, and I think you will, too.
