Because two is better than one.
The H-Bomb: Would be drug peddlers Bobby Trench (Denzel Washington) and Stig Stigman (Mark Wahlberg) hatch a scheme to rob a small town bank holding three million dollars that belong to Mexican narcotics kingpin Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos). The overly complicated heist goes down without a hitch, except for one thing, instead of finding three million in cash stashed in the safety deposit boxes, they find that the figure is much closer to 43 million. What’s more, that money doesn’t belong entirely to Greco, but to a much shadier organization operating north of the border.
This shady outfit is represented by Earl (Bill Paxton), a sociopathic, bolo tied shit kicker with a penchant for Russian roulette and a single minded determination to retrieve the stolen cash by any means necessary. As if that isn’t enough, it happens that Bobby and Stig, unbeknownst to each other, are both working undercover for The Man. Bobby is a DEA agent, and Stig works for Navy intelligence. At first, neither one is pleased that they were being played by the other, but as Greco, and Earl, and some corrupt folks from their own side, all come gunning for that 43 million, Bobby and Stig decide it’s probably in their best interest to set their petty jurisdictional bullshit aside and work together if they’re going to stand any chance of escaping this colossal cluster fuck of a conundrum that they are currently in. Let the rat race begin.
I learned long ago not to expect anything from movies released in August, as it is the month when studios crap out the flicks that they think just aren’t up to snuff for the prime summer months of June and July. That’s why I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed 2 Guns, a late summer movie that managed to buck the odds by not being a dull, generic suckfest, and that actually turned out to be a brass-balled, unabashedly bloody, and often hilariously un-PC action flick that almost, and I stress almost, rose to my standard of awesome.
Adapted from the graphic novel by Steven Grant, and directed with energetic gusto by Baltasar Kormakur (Contraband), this is exactly the kind of movie that the late Tony Scott would have made in his heyday. It is that special kind of bad ass. Of course, the main ingredient to the success of 2 Guns is the chemistry between our two heroes. Denzel and Marky-Marky are awesome enough on their own, but putting them together… man, they play off each other beautifully. Whether they’re just goofing around, or squaring off and measuring their dicks (figuratively), they make for one dynamic duo, and they really make these 2 Guns blaze. They have so much chemistry that I’m shocked no one thought to put them in a movie together before now.
As great as they are, it would be unbecoming of me to not mention some of the other highlights of the cast, including the ever colorful Paxton, who hams it up as the sadistic redneck Grim Reaper who makes even the most seasoned DEA Agents and drug lords wet their drawers in fear. Whether he’s slamming thumb tacks into hands or shooting off kneecaps, he is a fiendish delight to watch and needless to say, he steals every scene he’s in. Then there’s Paula Patton, as Bobby’s DEA colleague/love interest. She doesn’t get much to do, acting wise, but she does have a bedroom scene early on where she gets to show off her assets, which are indeed quite pleasant to look at. For that, I am grateful.
I am also grateful that director Kormakur decided against sanitizing his film for the PG-13 summer masses and instead gave us a hard R shoot ’em up. The banter between Bobby and Stig is appropriately potty mouthed, and it’s nice to be reminded every once in a while that people actually bleed when they get shot. Besides, no way would a Bambi-fied PG-13 action snoozer have had Marky-Marky blowing the heads off chickens or banging a guy on the dick with his gun. That sort of pure bad-assery would never have been allowed, for fear of corrupting the children.
Now, I said earlier that 2 Guns is almost awesome, and I meant exactly that. While I had a gas with it, it is not perfect. The movie has it’s problems. First, the plot is very twisty, with a lot going on. I don’t mind that, really, but there were points where things got needlessly overcomplicated, and it became too convoluted for its own good. I also felt that the film lost its momentum in its final third and started to lag, and by the time it ended, it had petered out completely, with characters double crossing, triple crossing, and quadruple crossing each other to the point of absolute absurdity. There are so many back-stabbings and betrayals that it just becomes ridiculous.
Then we get to the climax, which is disappointingly routine. Basically, it’s a four-way Mexican standoff that inevitably turns into a shoot out, the kind we’ve only seen about a million times before. It’s a well-executed gun battle, complete with a helicopter, but it’s also an incredibly cliched way to end a crime picture. A bit more imagination here would have been appreciated.
Those pesky imperfections stopped me from giving 2 Guns a solid four star rating, but it doesn’t at all stop me from recommending the movie, as I did have, for the most part, one hell of a good time with it. In all likelihood, it won’t go down as any kind of masterpiece, but it is a fast, diverting action yarn with two stars who, again, make a surprisingly engaging team. I would certainly like to see Washington and Wahlberg together again soon, particularly in a sequel to this film… 2 Guns 2, perhaps?
