A little family circus
Directed by: Timo Tjahjanto
Written by: Derek Kolstad, Aaron Rabin
Cast: Bob Odenkirk, Connie Nielsen, Christopher Lloyd, John Ortiz, Colin Hanks
Swift shot: I can suspend a lot of disbelief for an action movie, but seeing Colin Hanks (and his terrible haircut) as a tough guy was a stretch too far . . . and then, Sharon Stone, yikes! Still, I definitely enjoyed the carnage and chaos. I mean, these characters are nuckin’ futs and an over-the-top pseudo-parody of John Wick. At least that is how I look at it.
[Swift aside, I didn’t review Nobody, but I recall thinking, how is Odenkirk, a Simpsons comedy writer, going to convince me he can do badass action…? Well, turns out it was enough to endure a full closure of I-95, and the worst traffic we’ve ever had going to a screening, just to catch the sequel in theaters.]
Following the events of Nobody, Hutch Mansell now owes the Russian mafia $30,000,000.00 Dollars – that’s a lot of zeroes. Lucky for Hutch, his buddy, The Barber (Colin Salmon) paid off the debt, but now Hutch owes him, and The Barber works Hutch like a slave-wage, beaten dog.
This pace is starting to affect Hutch’s marriage and family; he’s missing games with his kids, and his wife, Becca (Nielsen) is struggling to tell him they “need to talk.” Bad ass assassin or not, those three words will bring any man to his knees.
Then, as if by divine inspiration, Hutch literally gets a sign. As he is reminded of the one place he, his father (Lloyd), and brother, Harry (RZA) went on their only vacation as teens – Wild Bill’s Majestic Midway Waterpark, the nation’s oldest waterpark, located in family-friendly nowhereberg, Plummerville, Wisconsin.
What a perfect place for nobody to go.
So, Hutch convinces his family to go to the waterpark, and as luck would have it, the slides are closed, so they get some free hotdog vouchers. While in the restaurant, Hutch starts reminiscing and inadvertently stares down Sheriff Abel played by a very unconvincing Colin Hanks. I was like, am I supposed to be laughing here, is this cringe on purpose, what is happening!?
It’s the same issue I have when his dad tries to play a bad guy, I just don’t buy it, my man.
Anyway, Sheriff Woody, err, Abel, gives him the standard, we don’t like your kind round these parts crap, and from there it goes from bad to worse. As Brady (Gage Munroe) and Sammy (Paisley Cadorath) make the acquaintance of the town bully, Max (Lucius Hoyos) and for some inexplicable reason [you will be hearing that a lot in this review] the security guard just keeps escalating the whole thing which of course leads Hutch to fucking snap. I will say, when that catalyst happens, our whole audience went NUTS, me included, it was what my dad would call the “ya shouldn’t a” moment.
Now Hutch and Brady get arrested by Abel, who introduces them to the real power player of Plummerville, Wyatt Martin (Ortiz). He’s basically a corrupt warlord type when we first meet him, and he’s also the bully, Max’s father. Yepp, bad to worse.
But, instead of seriously respond to Hutch, he gives him a pass, because they are tourists on vacation, and he also probably knows his son also shares part of the blame. Abel isn’t happy with this here outsider, though, and hires some thugs to teach him a fatal lesson. Why? The Hell if I know?!? Because Abel is just a complete moron, and he ignored his boss’s orders, for some inexplicable reason.
As my wife and I would say, “so the movie can happen…” I guess.
From there, the movie just picks up and Hutch has to somehow pretend everything is hunky dory as he dispatches the thugs without his family any the wiser. Admittedly, this is the movie I came to see, and the action and kills are even better than in Nobody.
For me, Odenkirk earned the action mantel when he went full ‘bad hand’ on that bus, and he has a similar fight in Nobody 2 that I know audiences will love and maybe talk about for years? Who knows? Hint, it takes place on the water.
I have heard some buzz about the director, Timo Tjahjanto, one half of The Mo Brothers, and the “New Indonesian Extreme,” plus the fight sequences were done by the guys who did Bullet Train. So, you know you are getting some awesome fistacuffs, and you won’t be disappointed.
As things just keep escalating, the real-real mother-in-charge is alerted that all Hell is breaking loose in her sleepy little cover town. Enter, Lendina (Stone), who is supposedly more vicious than the Russian mafia. Ok. I can tell you one thing, TDS doesn’t look too good on her.
Naturally, once she finds out what she is dealing with, she is going to go scorched Earth on Hutch and his family. But, they aren’t your typical American family. Pops is a retired, and painfully bored FBI agent, and his brother Harry, just learned how to be a ninja or something in Japan. I honestly couldn’t hear a single line RZA said, because the audience was going crazy every time he started doing ninja-shit.
There’s violence and explosions and ridiculous moments of carnage and clownery in this movie.
Will it leave a lasting mark, or will you forget about it in a few weeks? Will you be pining for more Nobodies? Honestly, yea, I think you will. Go see this one in the theater to really enjoy the final shootout sequence which must have cost a small fortune, maybe $30,000,000. I dunno.
But, I’d wager Odenkirk needs to make that back, guys. Help an ex-CIA assassin out, yea?
