“Just wait until you see what he’ll grow into.” Anakin Skywalker
Directed by: Jon Favreau
Written by: Jon Favreau, Dave Filoni, Noah Kloor
Cast: Pedro Pascal, Sigourney Weaver, Jeremy Allen White
Swift shot: At least five times during this movie, I asked my wife, “What the hell are we watching?” And yet, I was thoroughly entertained! For the most part, The Mandalorian and Grogu is a thrilling, weird, and at times fun film, and the rest of the time, well, not so much. But terrible acting aside, I am glad I saw this one in the theater. Shocking, I know!
The film starts off with what every little boy was in awe of in 1980, an attachment of AT-AT walkers stomping around and causing destruction!
[Swift aside: I have long believed that the entire Mandalorian saga is based on Jon Favreau playing with his action figures back in the day. You can hear me go on all about it with my co-host Storm Duper of Faking Star Wars infamy: Faking Star Wars Radio]
Din Djarin (Pascal) and Din Grogu are on a little bounty hunting mission at the behest of Colonel Ward (Weaver) of the New Republic. It seems there is a warlord named Barro (Hemky Madera) who is using his aforementioned walkers to “keep the peace,” also known as extorting the local population through threat of death.
Oh, and speaking of death, there are a ton of kills in this movie. If you have sensitive kids, leave them at home. There are also a plethora of monsters and intense scenes. It’s actually perfect for the big screen, to be honest.
Following the Barro mission, Ward has a new target for Mando & Grogu, but in order to find the target, they have to work for “The Twins” of Nal Hatta, who have essentially assumed Jabba’s place as the head of the Hutt cartel.
The Twins are eager to see their nephew, Rotta the Hutt (White), returned from yet another kidnapping. [Teeb aside: yes, Stinky has been kidnapped again!]
The Dins head to look for leads at the last known location for Rotta, Shakari. Once there, they run into Martin Scorsese, played by Hugo Durant. [Teeb aside: yes, the family name should ring a bell – and yes I reversed the character with the actor on purpose] Hugo quickly puts them onto Rotta’s whereabouts. Turns out he’s a fighter in the arena.
What makes things worse is that Rotta isn’t exactly interested in going anywhere with Mando & Grogu. He assumes it’s a death sentence and just wants to keep fighting in the arena to be his own man.
And wouldn’t you know it, he’s about to have his last fight, and then he can earn his freedom. Uh-huh, sure, kid.
A little perturbed by the situation, but knowing his real mission is to find the next Imperial target, Djarin looks to buy out Rotta’s contract. So he approaches the gamemaster, Lord Janu (Johnny Coyne) with an offer.
But, things don’t exactly go as planned, and Djarin finds himself in the arena himself. Because, duh, folks, this is Star Wars!
And to add insult to injury, he has to fight Rotta. But they aren’t alone, and I went basically nuts as this scene started to unfold and I recognized certain classic characters that only the real real OG Star Wars nerds will catch. And yea, if you aren’t afraid of spoilers, click here: Disney Store.
Now on the run, Mando & Grogu have obtained the name of their target and launch a snatch and grab mission right at his front door.
But, of course this isn’t where the story ends. In a new episode, ha ha, I mean scene, Mando is captured by a stoic bounty hunter that probably got introduced in one of the minutiae of Disney shows I honestly just don’t even care enough to watch. But this bounty hunter, called Embo was cunning and accompanied by his feral anooba companion, Keibu.
Oh, I almost forgot the best part. Remember Babu Frik? There are four of his Anzellan buddies (again voiced by Shirley Henderson) that essentially get tossed into the fray as they get too close to Mando & Grogu. And together with Grogu, they launch a rescue operation ala Return of the Jedi, to break Djarin out of the Twins’ palace on Nal Hutta. Keep in mind, they are all VERY tiny creatures, and yet Grogu is too big for their ship. It’s one of the funniest bits I can recall seeing in Star Wars on the BIG screen in a long time!
They mostly manage to escape, but Mando is wounded and poisoned by a dragonsnake. He’s got to make every last step count, as Grogu is essentially on his own. What happens next is pure cinema. There aren’t any words spoken for what feels like at least twenty minutes. Grogu has to keep Mando alive and comfortable while he connects with the force and nature to find a cure.
It’s remarkable watching this little puppet command the screen. Or you could look at it like, what the hell is this crap!? It’s all in how you choose to enjoy or shit on the movie, honestly.
And speaking of that, let’s talk about the overall package. Remember, I mentioned that the acting was subpar in places.
To whit, why did Sigourney Weaver not even try to have chemistry with Pascal? Could they not at least get him there to do the lines with her? It was painfully obvious she loathed him, and that was not the tone the character should have had. More like a casual contempt, at the most.
When I review a movie with someone I personally detest in real life, I grade my review on a curve, and seeing as how Pedro Pascal called me a Nazi along with 78 million of my friends, it’s hard to root for the guy. Thankfully, we are only reminded one time that little PP is even in this movie. In fact, Din Djarin is listed as being played by three people, like a freaking puppet!
Speaking of puppets, oh my stars, there were like a hundred in this combined practical and digital effects film. And every single one of them stole the show, especially the Anzellans.
The action was intense, and the suspense was solid enough to at times forget these characters have plot armor, because we know a season four is already in the works at Lucasfilm.
Stuffed with tons of membaberries and plenty of action, OG Star Wars fans might find themselves grudgingly admitting they fell into the sarlaac pit of public opinion and ruined their experience listening to what others told them to think.
As for this Space Nerd, I didn’t hate it, and I am actually glad I saw it on the silver screen. But, it’s your woopie oppie, so see it or don’t, but realize public opinions can easily be swayed by groupthink and naysayers who just want to punish a giant corporation.
Oh, also, Duper wouldn’t shut up about this and has already seen it like three freakin’ times!
