A Total Dud The H-Bomb: From Hollywood super-hack Len Wiseman, he who is responsible for the duller-than-dogshit Underworld and the dickless Die Hard 4, comes the latest why-did-they-fucking-bother remake, Total Recall, which takes away all the fun, gory, campy awesomeness of the Paul Verhoeven/Arnold Schwarzenegger classic and replaces it with pure, unadulterated … [Read more...] about Total Recall (The Crappy Version)
Sci-fi & Fantasy
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to Middle-earth we go! The H-Bomb: Director Peter Jackson takes us back to the magical land of Middle-earth with The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Set some 60 years before the events of The Lord of the Rings, it tells the story of young Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), a simple, peaceful Hobbit who enjoys his simple, peaceful life in the … [Read more...] about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Cloud Atlas
The weak are meat; the strong shall eat! Swift shot: I didn't care for Babel, and I am not afraid to say that. I felt the stories were all pretty boring, and tying everything together using the "evil" gun, irked me politically, Cloud Atlas uses the same gimmick and ties everything together in a mystical way. But while it is a solid film, I just can't … [Read more...] about Cloud Atlas
Frankenweenie
“Sometimes grown-ups don’t know what they’re talking about.” The H-Bomb: Victor Frankenstien is a precocious young boy living in the average suburban town of New Holland, whose best friend in the whole world is his dog, Sparky. One day, during an innocent baseball game, Sparky goes running into the street to fetch a home run, when he is tragically struck by a car and … [Read more...] about Frankenweenie
Solomon Kane
Even the darkest soul can be redeemed. Swift shot: Robert E. Howard wrote several novels, considered highly controversial for his time; he penned his most famous creation, Conan, a vehicle which quickly launched a certain former Austrian pencil-neck geek to super stardom. I read a few of the Conan books when I was in high school, and Conan the Barbarian (the original … [Read more...] about Solomon Kane
