Back in my day . . . The Muppets took on Manhattan, now they take on multiple sex partners and snort Grade A sucrose!
Directed by: Brian (definitely not his dad) Henson
Written by: Todd Berger, Dee Austin Robertson
Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Bill Barretta, Elizabeth Banks, Leslie David Baker, Maya Rudolph
It’s freakin’ Roger Rabbit meets Seven. Yes, the script by Todd Berger was actually heavily inspired by Seven!
Look, you might need to pound a few Bogart Whiskeys before seeing this crazy shit. There’s puppets pounding people and people into puppets. There’s some things that you will never be able to un-see in The Happytime Murders. And that’s why you’ll love it.
The city is Los Angeles, the crime is blackmail. Puppet hottie Sandra White (Dorien Davies) is being stalked and blackmailed by some sick bastard that wants to expose her promiscuity. She turns to our hero, Phil Philips (Barretta). He’s a disgraced, former LAPD detective who had the misfortune of being born a blue puppet. The concept of puppet birth was never really discussed, but Jesus God they explored every other aspect of puppet existence.
These raunchy raffish rag dolls seem to have an insatiable appetite for self-destruction. And as Phil heads to the local porn shop, he stumbles into a multiple puppetcide. His ex-partner, Edwards (McCarthy) is the leading puppet case detective. That’s to say she’s pulled shit duty for some stuffing that went down years ago. Phil did something that was so bad the Mayor actually put in a law to prevent puppets from ever being cops again.
But his old Lieutenant Banning (Baker) has always had a soft spot for Phil and thinks he is a good detective. At first Phil is just one lucky son of a stitch who barely comes out of the first muppet massacre without losing any felt.
But soon he and Edwards uncover a silly-string of murders that revolves around an old kid’s show, The Happytime Gang. And much like in Seven, they have to try to solve the case before the killer murders again.
McCarthy is surrounded by her usual menagerie of supporting actors, her husband Ben Falcone, Michael McDonald who does a scene-stealing performance as a snide Hollywood producer who treats puppets like idiots. And of course her buddy Maya Rudolph who plays the overly affectionate and understanding secretary, Bubbles. I think every one of her outfits actually had bubbles on it. You can check me on that though. Rounding out the meat based cast members is Elizabeth Banks who was the only human on The Happytime Gang and is also an ex-lover of Phil’s.
Where each of the former Happytime Gang cast winds up is a real dig at how Hollywood can ruin your life. There’s also shit in there about puppet discrimination which is shoved down your throat just a bit too much.
There’s at least one scene where you feel guilty laughing at the plight of one happy, dancing puppet. It’s early on, so you won’t have to keep your eye out for it very long. It’s cringe worthy and you’ll wonder what it says about you if you laugh. That’s great comedy right there.
Many times I was like, Oh My God, I can’t believe they did this, and I can’t believe I am laughing. Speaking of laughing, I am gonna have to see this one again, because people were laughing so hard I missed some of the punchlines.
It’s easy to write this film off as one weird-assed puppet orgy disguised as a hat tip to Philip Marlowe. But this is the first R-rated Henson approved puppet movie. I stress first, because if this one does well, we can expect to see some new adult puppet stuff from Henson Alternative. Well, Puppet Me!
When you think about it, a lot of us old-timers grew up to Henson’s Muppets, and they are real enough to us. Shit, one of the most powerful characters in Star Wars is a fucking Muppet! It makes sense that we’ll start to see more and more puppets in adult themed productions.
If you are thinking about taking your kids to this one, DO NOT! Let them see it when they are teenagers at the very least. As Brian Henson said it, “If we did it PG-13 and just skated the edge, I would still have an audience filled with five-year olds.” This is not a film for kids. This is a film for kids who grew up loving The Muppets and are comfortable with some incredibly lewd and crude sock comedy. Anyone else better avoid this one like the puppet plague.
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