“Life, uh, . . . finds a way.”
Swift shot: In 1993 I hiked with a fellow jarhead for four miles to watch this in theaters. I wasn’t disappointed then, and I certainly wasn’t disappointed this time . . . in IMAX 3D! Even though I have seen the film probably 15 more times since 1993, I was really excited to see it again in theaters. I must admit though, I forgot how many butts are squarely in your face in Jurassic Park. See if you can count them all. It gives a whole new meaning to Samuel Jackson’s famous line, “Hold onto your butts!”
Violence introduces us to an island near Costa Rica that appears to be handling some dangerous predator as it is transferred from one cage to another larger holding area. Things don’t go smoothly though, and from the opening shot we are already down one homosapien. Dinosaurs 1, humans . . . nada.
From there we are immediately launched to the dusty badlands of Montana where a “dig” is revealing some pretty amazing dino-bones. Brushes swish with excitement as Sam Neill and Laura Dern appear on the screen for the first time as Dr. Alan Grant and Dr. Ellie Sattler respectively. They are an item, and it is quickly established that Dr. Grant doesn’t like children very much. This is a running bit throughout the movie, and truthfully it never gets old.
Grant explains to his students that all the dinosaurs didn’t become extinct . . . they became birds. [Swift aside, I had a high school teacher who said the same thing, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t think she was nuts then, and after Jurassic Park I thought she was even a freakin’ genius] I’m not going to attempt to argue the ultimate fate of the dinosaurs here, but it is certainly a theory with . . . wings. Sorry, I had to.
Grant and Sattler are quickly interrupted from their lesson-plan when a chopper lands in the middle of their dig. They make their way to a standing trailer where an old Scottish man is already opening a bottle of Moet, wearing white from head to toe, he perfectly contrasts the dusty dig site. He is presumptuous, but as he makes no bones about his presence fairly quickly, the dig is being financed by him, John Hammond (Richard Attenborough). Eventually he gets to why he came and makes Alan and Ellie an offer they can’t refuse . . . if they want more dig funding. He doesn’t do it in a harsh manner, more like an extended favor that is owed to him.
In the chopper to this new adventure, the diggers make the acquaintance of Hammond’s investor’s lawyer, Donald Gennaro (Martin Ferrero) and a Chaostician, Dr. Ian Malcolm, played by the quirkiest actor to ever exist and bring cool and quirky into the same wheel house, Jeff Goldblum. To put it simply, Goldblum OWNS in Jurassic Park. He has the best one-liners in decades, and his delivery . . . is . . . priceless. He does the pauses like no other actor before or since. He’s my favorite character in the film, easily. Although Hammond remarks at least once in the film, “I really hate that man.” I wish I were better at math, because I want to be a Chaostician, just because it sounds awesome!
Just as they land, in 3D, a giant butt is in your face as the guy is opening the chopper door and that leads to the famous line, “Welcome to Jurassic Park!” See, there are butts like that throughout, but, the butts don’t really detract from anything. You’ll just chuckle at how many there are. Now on the island, the motley crew of scientists, a lawyer, and their host, the eccentric billionaire all head to the visitor’s center. On their drive though, they see a living, breathing brachiosaurus. The event literally hobbles Grant. After that, his mind is continually blown around every corner.
Earlier we were introduced to Nedry, a not-so-subtle anagram for Nerdy, perhaps? Nedry is played by “Hey, it’s Newman” as one blue-hair behind me shouted out in my screening. Wayne Knight must have the best agent, because just about every film he’s been in has been a great film for one reason or another. JFK, Basic Instinct, Toy Story 2. Jurassic Park . . . the list goes on. His comedic-villain, Nedry is somehow the most believable, yet impatient, bad-guy in movie history. The whole film I was like, “Damn, if Nedry could have waited just a DAY this whole chaotic chain of events would have never happened!” But, I am getting ahead of myself.
It’s weird writing a review for a film that has been around 20 years, and I am pretty sure EVERYONE reading this review has seen the film at least once.
At the visitor’s center, the group is on one of those studio rides where the theater seats move throughout the ride. It was neat, because at one point I really thought the actors were in our audience with an over the shoulder shot that played a mental trick on my eyes. They remove themselves from the ride, and see an incubation nest where a live dinosaur is being hatched. On Hammond’s orders, he must be present for each birth. Yes, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, there is a not so subtle God-metaphor with the Hammond character. In this scene, I had one minor beef with the story. When Grant is holding the dino-baby, he doesn’t immediately recognize it for a Raptor. Raptors are like his obsession, he even carries around a claw he dug up previously. I think he should have immediately noticed, oh crap, they bred Raptors! Still, it was a minor point and easily explained away with his wanting to not recognize what he was holding.
Finally, after an incredible tour and a neat little theme park show that felt as authentic as any I’ve ever been to, the guests sit down to dinner and discuss the magnitude of the creator’s little experiment. The Chaostician and the doctors are against the whole idea, and only the lawyer is on board once he sees how much money they can charge for the attraction. Then, we meet them. This crazy old man’s daughter is going through a divorce, so he says to his daughter, hey, I’ll watch the kids, I will bring them to my new park, they’ll love it. Uhm, gramps didn’t mention the dinos I guess? Yes, the creator, as I will now call him, has invited his own grandchildren to ride the first test run of the auto-mated safari tour of the grounds.
Here is another point where you practically scream at the screen, “Are you mad, old man?!?”
The introduction of the kids is great though, because it affords for comedy in the running joke that Grant hates kids. And when he meets Timmy (who manages to do everything in this film EXCEPT fall down a well) he is instantly irked at his presence. The kid (Joseph Mazzello) pesters him on his foolish notion that dinosaurs became birds. And Timmy’s sister, Lex (Ariana Richards) is stoked when she sees the, wait for it, “interactive CD Rom!” We all chuckled thinking how that used to be state of the art technology, and not that long ago, really in the grand scheme of things.
The Ford Explorers start off on their pre-programmed, tracked journey. And, I really LOVED this part of the film, because (just like in real life), they couldn’t see squat. They were taken from sign to sign saying “over here you’ll see the” and they never saw anything. It’s like when you go to the zoo and the animals are all in the cave way in the back. This experience leads to another classic one-liner from Goldblum. But, the impatience grows too much for Grant who hops out of the vehicle and explores on his own.
Now everyone knows how the rest of the film plays out, with Samuel Jackson as Arnold, the guy trying to piece together the maniacal trap that Nedry has seemingly, unwittingly sprung on everyone in his attempt to steal dino embryos. All the dinosaurs break free and a tremendous storm keeps the tension ratcheted to a nine on the Thrillometer! The kids grow to trust Dr. Grant, and he in turn grows to not necessarily despise children.
There are foot chases with six-feet lizards with razor sharp claws. The T-Rex swallows the lawyer, YAY, and we are reminded of the potential for destruction when a creator doesn’t ask the important question, not how can I create this . . . but rather, should I create this?
Normally I am not a big 3D lover, I can take it or leave it, but there were certain classic scenes, like “the goat,” “the T-Rex chowing on the Explorer,” “the lawyer being swallowed up on the crapper,” and of course “the kitchen chase” that all were incredibly IN YOUR FACE with the IMAX 3D experience.
So, while you may not get any new footage, or any surprises, this is a film worth exploring again if you’ve already seen it in theaters, and for the first time, if you haven’t had a chance yet. You really should let Universal know what you thought and thank them for the opportunity to re-live one of their classic cinema masterpieces!
The Interactive CD Rom is a dinosaur now and it evolved all the way to a bird . . . twitter. So, if you like, you can let Universal know all about how thankful you are to them with this hashtag #JP3D. And, tell them Rick Swift sent you!
