An adventure of epic(lite) proportions.
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The H-Bomb: Before I get into this review, I have a question to pose to all you fine readers; Who out there can name for me a good, or even okay, movie based on a video game? It’s a serious question, because I pondered it myself, and I truly cannot think of one. “Super Mario Bros.”? No. “Street Fighter”? Hell no. “Mortal Kombat”? I enjoyed it the one time I saw it back in ‘95… when I was fourteen and completely undiscriminating! But alas, I am older now, and a bit more discriminating, so, in other words… no. “Resident Evil”? That boring as hell “Aliens”-meets-Romero knockoff… don’t think so. Therefore, in my estimation, it‘s fair to say that every single film based on a video game has been pure, unadulterated shit.
That was the main obstacle for “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” to overcome. It has a strong cast, a good director, but… it’s based on a fucking video game! And, as said, video game movies are notoriously awful (even the ones NOT directed by Uwe Boll). So, was “Prince of Persia” able to jump that hurdle? Break that seemingly unbreakable trend? Well, in a pleasantly surprising way… yes. Despite the stigma of its interactive entertainment source material, it manages to buck the odds and emerge as a perfectly decent movie. Mind you it’s a pure popcorn flick that requires a heavy dose of suspension-of-disbelief, but overall, it’s pretty damn fun.
Set in a mythical ancient Persia (duh), it tells the story of Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), a street kid who was adopted by the noble King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup) and grows up to be quite the warrior prince; exceptionally brave, very adept at combat, you know the drill. While out on a military campaign with his brothers Tus (Richard Cole), who’s next in line for the throne, and Garsiv (Toby Kebbell), who’s not exactly Dastan’s biggest fan, they discover evidence that the city of Alamut was making weapons and selling them to Persia’s enemies. Despite the reservations of Dastan, Tus, following the sage advice of Uncle Nizam (Ben Kingsley), decides to invade the city with his army and conquer it.
During the ensuing battle, Dastan comes into possession of a very peculiar dagger that everyone seems a little too interested in, particularly Tamina (Gemma Arterton), the fallen city’s princess. It was Dastan’s strategy that won the day in the battle for Alamut, so it’s only right that he be celebrated as a hero. Sadly, the celebration is cut short when King Sharaman is murdered and Dastan is framed for the crime.
After making a quick escape, Dastan is forced to go on the lam with the beautiful but rather bitchy Tamina in tow, who is constantly trying to reacquire that weird dagger. During his quest to clear his name and uncover the truth behind his father’s murder, Dastan discovers that the dagger is an instrument of the gods that has the power to turn back the sands of time (turn back time, in other words), and that the real reason for invading Alamut was not to seize hoards of weapons, but to find and control this dagger. Wait, wait, wait… A powerful country invades another under false pretenses to seize control of a certain commodity… Really, Hollywood? An Iraq War reference? In a movie, set in ancient Persia, based on a fucking video game… really? Or maybe I’m just reading in to it too deeply.
Anyhow, in order to stop the dagger from falling into the hands of whoever this traitor is, Dastan and Tamina must take it back to crystal in some secret temple somewhere and return it to the gods. But it’s not going to be that easy, because not only does Dastan have a huge bounty on his head, he’s also being tracked by Hassansins, an elite society of scary super-goons who are tasked with killing him and retrieving the dagger. Oh, did I mention that if this dagger fell into the wrong hands, the entire world would be destroyed as a result? Let the chase begin…
Essentially, there’s nothing all that new going on here. This movie is basically “Gladiator-lite”, meets “Lord of the Rings-lite”, meets “Monty Python and the Holy Grail-lite” (okay, that last bit was an overstatement, but you get what I mean). It’s a period fantasy yarn kind of in the vain of “Troy”, and on that level, it works pretty well. I have zero knowledge of the game it’s based on, so I can in no way attest to how faithful the film is to it, though Dastan does do a lot of hopping, and flipping, and climbing, all of which I suspect came from the game.
At first, I wasn’t too sure about Jake Gyllenhaal in the lead. I can buy him as a schizophrenic teen or a gay cowboy, but as a full blown, muscle bound action hero? That was a big pill to swallow. However, I will admit, that while he’s no Russell Crowe, he did grow on me in the part. Gemma Arterton, who played the requisite disposable Bond girl in “Quantum of Solace”, is promoted to requisite leading lady here and comes off well. There were actually quite a few sparks of chemistry between her and Gyllenhaal, and it’s nice to see her have more to do in a film than lie naked in oil… though I didn’t mind seeing that.
Ben Kingsley brings some welcome gravitas to the film as Dastan’s Uncle, who isn’t all that he seems, as does Alfred Molina, who fills in the requisite comedy relief role as a greedy, amoral “Entrepreneur” that Dastan encounters in his travels.
Director Mike Newell keeps things moving at a snappy pace and gives the film an appropriate summer movie tone; one that’s never too light and never too dark, though the script was a bit heavy on the quips, and the action got a little too “Matrix-y” in places. The movie’s climax is an over-the-top light-show of special effects that will numb your eyes and your brain alike.
All-in-all, “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” is an entertaining fantasy adventure that should please young and old alike, even if it is- Heaven forbid- based on a video game.
